Continued from #2 Foot note all this happened 12 years ago

Well needless to say, my wife was surprised at how fast things were moving, actually, she became very angry. The stress level was high at this point so I decided to take my bike and cycle to the local park. I grabbed some cigarettes from my van (I am not a smoker but the stress at home and the situation drove me to it) and peddled of to the park.

Half way there, I realized I had no matches so I boldly asked God if he would get me some as I had forgotten my wallet. As I cycled past “safe way” local store I felt led to turn in as I did I thought good one God everyone smokes out the back now, I will just pop around there for a light.

Then he said “Stop”, It was so sudden that I just grabbed the brakes and stopped. I looked down at the front wheel, low and behold right were the tire touched the road was a brand new box of matches. I thought they would sure love this one in Church I laughed. I thanked God then headed off to the park.

When I got there, I picked a picnic table far from everyone and lit up. I began to pour my heart out to God. I just let it all flow for about 30 mins, then the most amazing thing happened. He spoke to me so softly like a father to his child: “Do you not know that I love you”

I know nothing amazing about the fact that he loves me, but it was how he said it. Here I was a man who had been a missionary, shared the gospel on the streets of London. Laid hands on the sick and they became well, so many things – and while I knew in my heart he loved me, I had never heard it. Boy, it floored me.

I said, “It doesn’t matter what I do from now on you really love me” Wow I was bawling. Then He spoke again. This he used my Name “Michael this is a fresh start I’m with you” you cannot top that. I went from crying to laughing and felt so incredibly peaceful.

I stayed about another 30 mins then cycled happily home, my wife was expecting a verbal fight. However, nothing she could do could upset me. I simply said all is in God`s hands and if you don’t mind between now and the time we move I would rather not talk to you. This was really scaring her. I have to admit it was kind of fun seeing her in this situation, when you turn your back on God your on your own.

At this point, I knew all was in God’s hands; I was just along for the ride. One week later, I moved her into her new house and I moved in with ken.

A few months later she decided to move back to Michigan, we lived in Salem Oregon. I began to earnestly seek God as to what I should do about the boys. A few days later I met them one last time before they were to fly out the next day, we went to toys-r –us. Then I took them home and went off to a friend’s house. There were a whole bunch of missionaries there and one of them wanted to talk with me. However, I was in no mood to talk with anyone, I needed to be alone. So I went for a walk, I walked for hours. Finally, I went home to bed and began to cry my heart out to God.

Then all of a sudden he spoke again, He said, “I gave my son up for you, can you give John and Casey to me and let me be there father” I was stunned, I struggled with this question for about an hour. They were my boys, I loved them deeply. I did not care about my wife I was glad she was Gone. Then finally, I said “Ok God I give them to you” Instantly, I mean instantly I was filled with such incredible peace. The room filled with such wonderful peace, my anguish was gone, and wow, this was great.

To Be continued....